"people say i live in my own world. that's ok. they know me there."

Well it's been a whirlwind week already. I've been watching all of my fellow law school friends get psycho about finals, and I am realizing that I am not even there yet. As of this past Tuesday, I had to complete my final trial. Next up - run a marathon. Then I can study for finals. My friend-cousin Matt on Saturday said to me: "Between law school and running, you are now a part of two crazy subcultures that the rest of the world just cannot relate to whatsoever." My young homeroom buddy...wise beyond his years.

After my first year of law school, my ability to communicate with the outside world was just...not there. The only people I could talk to were my law school friends and my dad, who also is a lawyer. No one else got it. The jokes I found funny were not funny to anyone outside of school. Statute of Limitations abbreviation is SOL, like Sh!t Outta Luck. The interesting things in the news were not interesting to anyone else. Did they really just make partial birth abortion illegal? I became completely, socially inept. But, in a funny way, I kinda liked it.

I used to be a sports nut, a reality TV junkie, and a girl who needed her daily siestas. Fast forward to when I started this marathon'ing insanity. This led me to scheduling classes around running (so what if I am in class til 9 on Monday and Wednesday, I get to the track on Tuesday nights and Crossroads on Thursdays, don't I?). With the late nights at Redbones, and the increase in both my weekly miles and school workload, I lost any form of loyalty to American Idol, Top Model, and The Hills. I became too busy to nap - in fact, I would rather run when I was tired than get into my bed. I turned down my sister's extra ticket to the Sox-Yanks game on Saturday because I wanted to get a run in before it started monsooning. With this action, my favorite ATLien, Andrew, had enough. In his words: "You are an entirely different person now." That comment hit me, and I've been thinking about it ever since.

I wouldn't say I am a different person. I just think I have a different outlook on things. Of course the Red Sox are always up there, but an April game in the rain (during exam and marathon crunch time) was not at the top of my to-do list. But I realize that everything I talk about with my friends and family is running related. I tell them about the marathon or how cool Coach Fultz and my running friends are or the number of Gu's I eat or the new sneakers I just bought or how much money I raised for cancer research or my unhappiness about the silk screen job on my marathon shirt. And get this - NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE. I really didn't get why that was.

So, at times, I pretended that none of this happened. I shrugged my shoulders to the 22 miler from Hopkinton to BC and acted like it wasn't the best run of my life. I tried not to cringe every time I had to walk down a flight of stairs at school following a long run or a track workout. I pretended that my running friends are not the most incredible circle of people I have met in a while. I acted like this year hasn't been the most life changing experience imaginable...

But in reality, I cannot pretend that much longer. Maybe this explains why the only people who said exactly what I needed to hear after the silk-screening crisis were my DFMC friends Tyler and Lauren because they knew - it was more than just a shirt. (Sheede you were fabulous in a way that only a best friend could be with immediate crisis control though). Maybe this is why I teared up at the end of the Spirit of the Marathon documentary tonight knowing that this has been such a journey and that there are very few people out there who can relate to what I am experiencing. Maybe this confirms my fear of the unknown - not necessarily the emotions surrounding the running of my first marathon - but the letdown of "now what?" when the date reads: Tuesday April 22nd.

In anticipation of this upcoming weekend, I look forward to spending time with the DFMC'ers from the Marathon Expo tomorrow to the DFMC pasta party on Sunday to Hopkinton on Monday morning to Copley on Monday afternoon to Shifter's party on Monday evening. I will fall comfortably back into my own little world, where everyone in the outside one just doesn't get it. As far as I am concerned, the people in this world know me, so I am OK with that.