Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a Match....

Find me a find, catch me a catch...
Matchmaker Matchmaker, look through your book...and make me a perfect match!

Ahh yes, on the eve of the Sabbath, this little Jewish girl is chanting songs from Fiddler on the Roof. Why? Because a few donation matches recently trickled in, bringing my fundraising total to currently a bit over $5,600!!! How excited am I?

If you already donated, and work for a company that has a match program, please submit your donation confirmation to HR to get your donation matched. If you have not already donated, but are planning to, wouldn't it be a great time to do so now, knowing that the company you work for will MATCH you to the dollar??

For Papa, make him a scholar. For Mama, make him rich as a king...

"Round and Round and Round in the Circle Game..."

Last night's track workout confirmed my conflicting feelings about running in circles. You don't get anywhere, destination wise; however, you do get a good idea of your pace and your capabilities as a runner. We did 1200m (3/4mile) at 5k pace, then 200m rest, then 400m at a bit faster than 5k pace, then 400m rest.

Repeat 5x.

Here is how it all went down:

1200: 5:48
400: 1:50

1200: 5:56
400: 1:48

1200: 5:54
400: 1:53

1200: 5:58
400: 1:52

1200: 5:52
400: 1:46

Despite the fact that I have a presentation today in my immigration law class, I dined with the group at Redbones after the workout. Hey, a girl's gotta eat!

Training Week of February 24th

Sun. 2/24: Makeshift group run out of Buff's Pub - 8.5 miles
Mon. 2/25: Rest
Tues. 2/26: Track workout + Redbones. Sweeeeeeet.
Wed. 2/27: Rest
Thurs. 2/28: Doing the Thursday...Woodland --> Crossroads - 9 miles
Fri. 2/29:
Sat. 3/1: GASP it is MARCH!!!

Training Week of February 17th

Just know that I made it to the elliptical ONCE this week before I caught the Mexican flu and got a randomly bruised and busted right foot. That is all anyone is going to get on this weeks' workouts.

Lindsey & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week....but, she is still smiling :)

I went to sleep with gum in my mouth, and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day....

I think I'll move to Australia...

In sum, this is what has happened to me in the past ten days:

My 2yr old laptop crashed at the start of my Corporations Class on Valentines Day. I thought I would end up missing my Valentines Date with Heartbreak (Hill) to get it fixed. Someone on the Best Buy Geek Squad told me that: "The motherboard's gonna blow very soon. You should probably back up all your documents asap." So I bought an external hard drive for 80 bucks to back-up my computer. Then, when I got home after Best Buy, I couldn't even turn on the computer. I had to re-write my direct and cross examination for my Trial Practice Class. And now, I have to rely on others for their notes from my classes since the first day of this semester until I get a new computer.

Next week, I said, I'm going to Australia...

About 13 miles into the 15 miler out of Wayland last Saturday, my foot started to hurt. The top inside part of my right foot was all bruised when I took my shoe off. Then on Sunday, I heard the dreaded words from Coach Jack Fultz: "You shouldn't go on the roads for a bit. Rest and Ice it."

There were lima beans for dinner and I hate limas. There was kissing on TV and I hate kissing...

On Tuesday, I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever, the chills, and I desperately needed some Benadryl to help me sleep. I missed school on Wednesday cause I was coughing up a lung and could not keep food down. I missed school on Thursday because I was so drained from not being able to eat much of anything on Wednesday. I am never speaking Spanish with strangers again.

When we picked up dad at his office he said...don't fool around with the phone, but I think I called Australia.

I woke up from a nap on my couch on Friday night and when I stretched my arm out, I knocked my cell phone (which was under my pillow) into a big glass of ice water on the floor. My cell phone wouldn't turn on. This was the second cell phone I ruined due to water damage. I had my friend Ali call my parents to tell them that they could only reach me via email. My mom said: "She's a little spaced out sometimes. She's my daughter, but your friend." I went to Verizon and they told me I cannot have a new cell phone until Monday. I went to Ali's house on Saturday night and her buzzer wasn't working on her door. She didn't hear me pounding away at her front door. I went to the corner of the street and asked a group of people if they had a phone I could borrow so I could call my parents so they could call Ali. They turned me away. I asked another group because I watched one of the girls put her phone in her purse and then she said to me, "we don't have cell phones."

Unlike Alexander and his "day", I was not all that bummed out about my week. I knew it could have been a lot worse. I was grateful that the computer crash did not happen during finals. I am lucky that my foot injury (knock on wood) was not in the middle of when I needed to do my 20 milers. I am hopeful that I won't get the flu again this season. And, I am lucky that THIS time, I insured my cell phone. Today's run, my first run in over a week, felt good. And, once again, I love weeks that begin (or end) with drinks, food, and quality time after a run with the DFMC'ers. I am convinced my new attitude about a week like this one will help me get through tougher times in the future.

It had been a terrible, horrible, no good, very day. My Mom says some days are like that.

Even in Australia.

(thank you Judith Viorst for the excerpts from your book)

Training Week of Feb. 10th

I realized that I have not been posting my training logs lately, despite having a neat little binder on my desk at my apartment with all my DFMC stuff in it. So I am going to attempt to play catch up on the week I remember best...last week.

Sunday 2/10: mother nature freakout - 5 miles
Monday 2/11: rest
Tuesday 2/12: Track workout: 800m at 80%, 200m chill, 200m at 90%, 400m chill...repeat 6x (so 6 miles) + Gluten free second dinner of the night at Redbones...sweet.
Wednesday 2/13: stretch
Thursday 2/14: Heartbreak Hill, will you be mine? Back 9 :)
Friday 2/15: stretch and advil
Saturday 2/16: 14.72 miles - holla!

Ohhhhhh We're (over) Halfway There....

Whoooaaaa Living on a Prayer!

I am not going to subject you all to my singing voice. But you can only imagine how fabulous I sound right now as I sing Bon Jovi while typing this entry.

With a few more donations trickling in over the past week or so, I am now officially over the halfway point of my fundraising goal. I currently have $4,298.36. The amount I have raised is beyond belief impressive. What I am finding more impressive so far is the number of people who have donated. I have 76 donations to date. 76 people! Can you believe that? I am hoping to have full participation from everyone I have contacted so far. Clearly there is no amount too small because every little dollar is helping me reach my goal.

Thank you all who have donated so far. Looking forward to more donations from the people who said they would. Please donate here.

Take my hand, we'll make it I swear...

One Year.

Monday February 12th 2007.

One Year Ago during Jeopardy…

It is funny how easy it is for me to write out my thoughts about training in this blog. I have learned that I quickly can gather my ideas after a run, and then type out a post for the world (or
maybe just the few friends of mine bored at work or in class) to see. Granted, I am not sharing my absolute innermost thoughts with you all, but I am pretty open about my training and the emotions that surround these past few months. Well, the past week has been a difficult one for me. I realize that the majority of my entries lately have sounded like Debbie Downer wrote them, but then by the end of each, a bit of the hopeful and positive Lindsey speaks up. I cannot guarantee that this entry will generate the same.

Here I am, writing the hardest blog entry to date. The entry that will not be grammatically correct simply because it is impossible for me to fully express exactly what I am feeling. The entry that I have been thinking about throughout my past few runs and workouts. The entry that I know makes me so emotionally vulnerable to the internet community, but I will write it anyway. The entry that has led me to tears every time I sit down at my computer and actually tell myself: “I need to write this.”

One year ago today, my Auntie Nancy passed. All of last week, I was thinking of what I was doing this time last year.

February 1st, 2007:

Despite the hectic 1L schedule, I had the chance to get a weeknight visit in to see her. Auntie Nancy, my mom, my grandmother and I had dinner at my grandmother’s condo. My Auntie Nancy was just told that day that the chemo was not working any more and she should stop treatment. I remember how hard it was at dinner seeing her realize that even though she wanted to keep fighting, she was not allowed. The cancer was bigger than all of us in the room. After dinner, my grandmother went to play Mah Jong with her girlfriends downstairs, and my mom went to an open house for her school. I had an hour alone with my aunt, and it was absolutely amazing. I had just received the offer letter for my summer internship at the federal prosecutor's office, and was able to show it to her. I knew she was proud, especially given that this was the area of law in which I wanted to practice. I also knew that she would not be around to hear the stories of the summer. We watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy together (her two favorite shows). Later, my mom called to tell me that she was on her way back from the open house. Despite how weak she was, my Auntie Nancy walked me to the door. She gave me a kiss, said “I love you” and said “Don’t be afraid to come back often.” I responded: “I promise I will see you soon.”

And I did…just not in the conditions that either of us would have wanted.

One week and a few days later, my Auntie Nancy’s cancer took over. They brought her to a hospice home. My grandmother, Aunt Elyce and Mom did not want us seeing her. But my sister and I knew we had to say goodbye.

I knew I promised her that I would see her again. I could not break that promise.

Saturday February 10th:

Ashley and I drove to hospice to say goodbye. According to my mom, the most that my Auntie Nancy opened her eyes in hospice was when my sister and I were there. She wanted to stay strong for her nieces. I still look back knowing that day was the hardest one of my life. There is no way to describe what it is like to say goodbye to a loved one for the last time. I will forever remember what she looked like on that day, but I refuse to let these be my lasting memories of my Auntie Nancy. I remember holding her hand, and telling her some of my favorite memories with her, like our foliage trips with my mom and sister. I remember telling her that she will always be my "favorite youngest aunt on both sides of the family" (a title that she always took pride in). When Ashley and I did finally say goodbye to Auntie Nancy, it looked like she mouthed back “I love you” and tried to blow kisses. She knew we were there.

Ashley and I drove away and the sky looked eerily beautiful. We decided this was our Papa telling us it was OK, and that he would take care of Auntie Nancy.

Monday February 12th:

I remember sitting with my friend Anna in the cafeteria late on that Monday night as I tried to get ahead on work because I was told my aunt likely would pass that week. I do not remember exactly what Anna said to me, but I remember that her words offered me comfort about the unknown feelings I was about to experience. I remember that after Anna walked away, I could not help but think of how surprisingly supportive all my friends in law school were thus far. I spoke on the phone with one of my best friends, Sheede, who was in LA for a work conference. My father called while I was on the phone with her. I figured this was “the call.” Anytime a family member called me, I got sick to my stomach and assumed it was the call. I clicked over. He was walking the dog in the freezing cold, and expressed nerves about a snowstorm coming in that week that could cause problems with the impending funeral. He then yelled at the dog, and he got disconnected. I assumed the dog was annoying him, so I figured I would call back when I packed up and got home.

I remember not hearing back from my dad, so I called him. I know exactly where on the fourth floor stairway of the law school I was when my dad told me: “That was mom on the phone when I clicked over…She’s gone.” Auntie Nancy passed away in the middle of Jeopardy. I remember having to call my Bobi (my dad’s mother) to tell her what had happened, and have her “make calls.” I remember calling Sheede just less than an hour after I had talked to her, to now tell her that my Auntie Nancy died.

I remember feeling guilty that night because I wanted to cry and I couldn’t.

I had no more tears left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TODAY
February 12, 2008

One year later…man I cannot believe it has been a full year. I look at what has gone on this year, and the only thing that seems significant is Auntie Nancy's passing. I sit here writing this entry with tears pouring down my face. If you asked me right now if I am healed from her loss, the answer is no. If you ask me if I ever will heal, I cannot really answer that.

However, Auntie Nancy's passing really was my reality check on life. I have learned a lot about, and at times have re-evaluated, the relationships that I have invested in over the years. I have found friendship in the most random of places. I have rekindled relationships with people who were a part of my life ten years ago. I have become so much closer with my family, and have realized that Boston will forever be my home. I talk to my parents daily. Unfortunately, I needed to lose someone as important to me as my favorite youngest aunt to have such a reality check.

Tonight, at the year anniversary of the hour of Auntie Nancy's passing, I will not be watching Jeopardy. Instead, I will be at the Tufts track training to run my first marathon to raise money for the hospital that gave my Auntie Nancy hope until the very end. Obviously, today, more so than many other days, I think about why I am running the marathon. I think that my Auntie Nancy would be incredibly proud that I am doing this. But, naturally, I also have my own form of guilt, wishing I had thought to run for Dana-Farber sooner...while she was alive, so that she could have possibly been cured. I wonder how many more Dana-Farber Marathon Challenges I will want to run before I feel completely healed, and feel that I have done what I can. I do not have the answers to any of this. This is all disconcerting to say the least, but I do believe in fate, and do hope that these answers will come soon enough to give me the strength that I need to let go.

I miss you, Auntie.

Moody Mother Nature

After Robin left yesterday, I stepped up to head out for a run. When I wrote my post, I was very excited that it was so nice out. I received a phonecall from my friend Steph right after I got into running gear, and about five minutes later it started pouring. Quite the omen on the day. I got off the phone with her when it started to clear up, and I am not lying when I say that I booked it towards the marathon course in hopes that I would not deal with the crazy weather again. It started to rain a bit when I got to Coolidge Corner. Then the rain turned to a hail storm with 30mph head winds when I got to the vicinity of Cleveland Circle. I saw a T, and it almost looked like it was waiting for me. I got on knowing that this weather wasn't my fault. Regardless, the run, until the weather turned schizo, was a great one. I think I was easily running a 9min mile pace and I felt good about myself. I had two T riders say something to the effect of "Wow you are pretty dedicated" when I got onto the T. Yeah, I stopped (I refuse to say "I Quit"), but mother nature was just suffering from multiple personality disorder, and there was no way that I was going to stick it out and play therapist for her.

Today = Gym Workout
Tomorrow = Track Workout (eek?)

Long Run - Take 2

From Kristin Armstrong's most recent blog post:

"I am a runner.

"This has nothing whatsoever to do with race results, placings, PR's, split times, training programs, gender, age, racing schedule, weekly mileage, or pace bands. This has to do with something deep, something tender, something profound, something powerful and something untouchable about who we are in our hearts. This is why we recognize each other, on the road or in coffee shops, and we nod and smile. This is why we are never alone, even if we are training far from our hometown or way outside our comfort zone. Even if no other "I am" statement feels good about our life at the moment, we always have that one.

"What I want to tell ... anyone else out there struggling with injury, illness, delay, or disappointment of any kind is that even if you are healing or taking time off... you are still, and always, a runner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend Robin just left after a much needed visit from one of my college friends who knows me better than anyone. It is beautiful out, a sunny 38 degrees. It is supposed to cool off in the next couple hours, so I am getting out now.

I am going for my long run again, knowing that it cannot possibly be worse than the one on Friday.

I am a runner.

Defeated, Disheartened and Discouraged

I can hardly think of any positive words to describe my emotions right now after my (attempt at a) long run. I headed out this afternoon to do an out and back loop from my apartment and continuing on in the reverse of the marathon loop to what is normally the third hill of Heartbreak and back. I ate a full package (that is three servings) of rice bran, gluten-free pasta last night. I did not go out drinking with my intern friends. I was in bed early for this run. I braved the craptastic weather. I added an extra layer of clothing. I even went to City Sports to buy a fuel belt so I could hydrate along the way with Berry Propel and Mint Chocolate Gu. But, it was not enough. My legs were achy the second I turned onto Comm Ave and started pounding the pavement...the oh-so-comfortable cement (and brick) sidewalks of Back Bay and beyond. I decided to rehydrate about 2 miles into my run by the Citgo sign, and noticed that my well washed out bottles were all sudsy inside. I didn't wash the soap out enough when I was trying to rid the bottles of the poisonous plastic taste. So, I stopped at An Tua Nua and had a bartender wash them out for me. Didn't work. I stopped at the Golden Temple to have them washed out. Also did not work. I got myself past BC and felt like death.

Achy...fatigue...shin splinted.

I turned around and walked back to Cleveland Circle (because I hate the B Line) where I proceeded to take the green line all the way home.

Defeated. Disheartened. Discouraged.

Then I remind myself why I am doing this. Why am I dealing with this pain? How many more Advil can I take before my body becomes immune to them? Will my muscles ever recover from the constant increase of my weekly miles? How much more gluten-free pasta can I eat before I want to boycott the Celiac diet altogether and eat a loaf of whole wheat bread?

I get back, and see a donation from my friend Kaitlin and a cheerleading one-liner email from my law school friend Ari. I am very lucky to have so many people supporting me.

And, I remember why I am doing this. The pain I deal with, the discouragement I feel, the commitment I am making, is nothing compared to what cancer patients feel on a day-to-day basis.

I also got home to this video that Jack Fultz, my marathon training coach posted on the DFMC bulletin board. Yes, we get a Marathon winner as our running coach...I am very lucky to say the least. I realize that I cannot let today dictate how I am going to feel throughout the remainder of my training. As obvious from this video, no matter what language it is in, when someone wants to finish the marathon...they will. I can see the pain on her face as she collapses multiple times, but I also see the sense of accomplishment when she crosses the finish line. I want to be able to say that I raised an unbelievable amount of money for cancer research by running Boston. I know that the pain I feel along the way will NOT stop me from being able to accomplish these goals.

I will finish the Boston Marathon.

Runner Camaraderie

"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve.
It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle.... When the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

And running I was. I ran my longest run EVER on Saturday morning - 15 Miles. The out and back route started in Watertown, crossed the Arsenal Bridge, cut over through Brighton, took a left onto Comm Ave around BC, took Comm all the way down the Heartbreaks to Newton-Wellesley and back again. Here is a map of the route. This was the first time that I had to run up the Newton Hills with a few (or 10) miles behind my belt already. So, to put it simply - they hurt...badly. I made a new group of Dana Farber Marathon friends too - a couple from Wellesley named Scott and Carrie and a guy, Steve, from NH. The four of us, when we got to the third hill, decided we would help each other get over that hill with interesting conversation related to what we would be eating when we got back to the Mt. Auburn Club. When we got 1/3 of the way up the hill, we all stopped talking, and once we got to the top, one of us just said "Man, that was a bitch." Yep, the runner bond.

It was a gorgeous global warming February day though in Boston on Saturday. There were over 100 runners on the hills too - from all different running groups out training for the marathon. Usually whenever I run these hills, I see other runners on them. No matter what time - there is always at least a half dozen people out there. We always nod or smile or, if we have even the slightest bit of energy, actually say a hello. It is like a mutual understanding among the runners that we would not be on those hills if we weren't training for Boston. Quite the bond I must say. I like it.

No Backing Out.. I am really running Boston.

Dear Lindsey,

This is to notify you that your entry into the 112th Boston Marathon on Monday, April 21, 2008 has been accepted, provided that the information you submitted is accurate.

You can verify your acceptance into the field by searching the 112th Boston Marathon "Entrants" database on the B.A.A. web site. Additionally, an acceptance postcard will be mailed to you via US Postal Service mail.

In early April 2008, an official Number Pick-up Card and extensive information regarding the B.A.A. Boston Marathon and related race week activities will be mailed to you via US Postal Service first class mail. If you do not receive your Number Pick-up Card (required to claim number) and brochure by April 11, please contact our Registration Office. Registration related inquiries may also be directed to 508-435-6905.

Note that bib numbers will not be distributed on Race Day. Your travel arrangements should take into account picking up your number at the Hynes Convention Center in Boston on Friday, April 18 from 10:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., or Saturday, April 19 or Sunday, April 20 from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.

We look forward to seeing you in April! Best of luck in your training!

Sincerely,

Boston Athletic Association

Schilling Style

At the start of "doing the Thursday" this afternoon, I decided I wanted to write about my AWESOME new kicks that I bought on Tuesday, and how much I liked them. They are an upgraded model of my old Brooks Adrenaline running sneakers. The guy at Marathon Sports basically convinced me that they had more cushion than my old Adrenalines, and well, they had silver on them, which I thought was pretty - so I was sold.

At the bottom of Heartbreak Hill (and yes, I FINALLY saw the Johnny Kelley statute!), I started feeling a pain at the back of my ankle. I ignored it. Got to the top of the third of the Heartbreaks and I realized I could not ignore it anymore because it likely was a blister. I sat down at the foot of a driveway of a nice house on Comm Ave (man are those houses really pretty)...and there it was.


A bloody ankle, shoe and sock, a la Schilling.

Did it hurt? Kinda. Was I more BS at the fact that this situation required me to stop 2-3x over the course of my run and "fix" my sock? Absolutely. I was feeling good throughout my run, and was probably averaging 9min miles, which is my hope for the actual marathon. So when I rounded the corner onto Boylston at 90min, I was damn pissed at my sneakers. They better be broken in now.

A Little Email Goes a Long Way

Last night I sent out my first fundraising email. I had been working on it for a while, and with the help from my fundraising coach Tyler, I was convinced that it was as professional looking as I could make it. Before sending out the email, I had raised $976. When I went to bed around 11pm, the total was slowly climbing to $1100+. How about now? Well with the help of 24 donations in the past 24 hrs, we have raised $3,025.20 for the Claudia Adams Barr Program for Innovative Basic Cancer Research at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. I am beyond excited, and for the first time in a while, I think I could actually be speechless. Every single donation means so much to me, and I look forward to seeing how much more we can raise in the next few months ahead.

So for those of you who donated, thank you. Those of you considering making your donation soon, I look forward to it.

Thanks so much again. I love you all.

-Linds